"Fearlessness is not the objective. Action, momentum and purpose are." ~ Dr. Darnise
I want to share my take on working through doubts and fears when trying to pursue dreams.
The job of fear is to show up when we are embarking on something new or uncomfortable. Doubt tends to follow to remind us of those subconscious thoughts of worthlessness, inability or inadequacy. It uses fear to create a physiological reaction that can literally cease all movement towards manifesting our goals if we let it.
Too many people are waiting for the perfect time when their fears and doubts will subside before they really go after the things they want. The problem is - that day may never come. Fear and doubt will always be present in the human experience, just like any other emotion we feel. You can't eliminate them; but you can learn to work with and through them. A great reference that goes into detail about doing this successfully is a book by Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
When you're too afraid to ask for help or take actionable steps towards your goals on your own...well, you get stuck. You end up self-sabotaging. And that is a dangerous and highly emotionally unhealthy state of being, isn't it? It's a state of being that tends to relive traumas, welcome unwanted thinking, and produce sadness, regret, resentment and jealousy.
So, for a minute, just imagine physically placing fear and doubt to the side, under your seat, in the closet somewhere. I promise it won't disappear as it will readily show up both when you need it and when you don't. You just have to be discerning enough to know the difference.
Here's an exercise that can help:
1. Create 2 columns on a sheet of paper
2. List your fears one side and doubts on the other. Be as honest with yourself as possible.
3. Fold the paper in half and place it somewhere you don't check often (i.e. the back of a closet, under your bed, in a file box, etc)
4. It's finally out of your head, out of the way, and you've freed yourself enough to start from a clean slate. Nothing is holding you back in this moment. Now, take a deep breath, meditate or say your affirmations, and then start on a project. It can be any task. Just create some momentum by taking action: research on a topic for your blog, filming your first tutorial video, creating a craft to sell online...).
Here's what I'm getting at:
When it comes to accomplishing your dreams, fear and doubt will surely appear. That's a given. You can acknowledge them, listen to what they have to say, and then place them aside if they do not serve you. You don't have to agree with them or allow them to take up too much mental and emotional space. Instead, use that fuel and pour it into purposeful work-your bliss-the things that make you happy. Don't allow those doubts to stop your forward movement or to shape your views on your capabilities and self-worth. They are not directly related to who you are and what you're capable of doing!
Creating the life you want boils down to the amount of effort, diligence, and love you're willing to put into it. And if you're being honest, I'm sure you can identify areas where you've been lacking or can improve. Know that you can strengthen these muscles again. Just think about the last time you worked relentlessly to accomplish something great. Remember that exhilarating feeling?
Ultimately, no one can force you or hold your hand along the way. No one can be more passionate about your success than you. You have to will yourself (be it kicking and screaming) into action. But hopefully, you're finding some joy and learning a lot in the process ;) Think of the goal. Envision the vision. Surround yourself with motivational messages, and don't quit. It's okay to mess up, start over, and ask for help. Yes, please ask for help when you need it because it doesn't make you weak or dependent. It's actually a smart move that can potentially propel you even further.
So, to review, continued action leads to momentum which then leads to purpose.
I hope this is helpful to someone as much as it has been for me :)